從容

　　花了半年時間才把情緒穩定下來，只是周遭仍然有很多很蠢的人，令我很沮喪。

　　最近在籌辦的事，緩緩的在進行，不著痕跡。是的，我突然都不想告訴任何人所有事了，或者我不會再在這裡寫。或者我想寫在一本真的書上。

　　她告訴我，有幾次朋友讓她好生失望，我想說：我也是。朋友不是會對你不好，只是有時候會對你不太好。我都不喜歡這種感覺。

March comes in like an lion...and here and now, it fades out...

三月的獅子又來了。

又就要過去。

好像很久很久才熬過去似的。十二月時以為忙完一月的遠行工作會好一點，誰知二月的時候就辭了助理，自己折騰自己。三月，無緣無故的兼起非份內的職務，快要到四月了，卻驚覺五月的遠行準備工作還未好好的開始做．．．。沒完沒了。

都沒有甚麼想記下。反正都是些不順心的事。

我確實需要一個假期。

這幾個月發生了一些不好的事，縱然也有一些很好的事，最痛苦的是，我全都不能夠跟朋友說。沒有甚麼事不能對人說，只是都不想說。開始解釋自己的狀況是很難很難的一件事。

不過，最令我感到神奇的是，原來和你相處很久很久的人，可以生出的默契是；在你不為意自己正要嘆一口氣的時候，他已經問「怎麼了？」。

生活，還是可以有很多驚喜的，對嗎？

bye bye grandpa

grandpa left on 26 Jan. he went to shenzhen to play mahjong with friends. his friends called us when he was in the shenzhen hospital. when my brother reached there from his shenzhen home, grandpa had already gone. i rushed to shenzhen with mom, dad and my 2 aunties. it was already 3am when we arrived. grandpa had already been packed with cloth in mortuary. we saw him there and waved him goodbye.

we waited at my bro's home till early morning, and arranged him back to hk. the doctor told bro that grandpa had just past before my bro arrived the emergency room. bro knew this was not true. grandpa's body was too cold for "just past away". bro told me that grandpa should had died already when he was sleeping at his friend's home. his friend wanted to avoid any trouble, so he called for an ambulance. bro was in time to take care of the documents and the folloiwng procedures before we arrived. i'm glad to learn that grandpa was sleeping when he left.

my mom was a surprised to me. she was so calm, especially when my 2 aunties were in deep depressed. she was the first one to step into the mortuary when my 2 aunties were too scared and stood outside. grandpa's clothes was half off after the rescuing. my dad dressed him well. dad told us shouldn't be too upset, or grandpa would be missing us and didn't want to leave.

i'm fine now. everyone in my family is fine. their maturity make me feel calm.